Seat up or down?

I think I’m very lucky to be married to a very wonderful panda. We get along so well and have so much fun together that it often totally boggles me when I hear of the kind of problems other people have with their spouses.

They’ll say how amazing it is that we still hold hands together when we walk. And I’m like… are you angry with each other all the time? Does she have open sores on her palms or something? Why wouldn’t you want to hold each other’s hands?

However, the one that takes the cake has got to be the question of “Toilet seat up or down?” Apparently, some women will fall into the toilet bowl if the guy doesn’t put the toilet seat down after peeing. Then the guy complains that he always has to raise the seat otherwise he’ll dribble all over (unfortunately, there’s a guy in my office who apparently has been conditioned so well by his wife that he really doesn’t raise the seat, hence explaining why he DRIBBLES ALL OVER).

To me, it doesn’t really take an extreme amount of effort on either part to either lift up the seat or put it down. Worst case is if somehow both parties alternate perfectly, meaning everytime they go to the toilet they have to put up/down the seat cover, so it’s perfectly fair. If not, there will be some times when you go and “hey presto!” the seat is already in your preferred position, all is well.

But the underlying reason is probably just arguing for the sake of it, and it probably shows that most people get married for the wrong reasons I think. Some of my friends know married couples that are already experiencing marriage woes after 2 years of marriage, which is amazingly sad.

Despite what some old fogeys probably think, I strongly recommend living together before getting married. For at least a couple of years. We lived together in the US for 4 years before coming back to Singapore, which pretty much allows you to get past all the silly stuff like who takes out garbage or does laundry or the dishes. Being together with your spouse comes down to spending the rest of your life together, not how cool he looks on his bike or how sexy she looks in the dark at 2 am in a pub. He may be able to tell interesting stories now and seem to live a life of adventure with all his tattoos, but is he going to keep that up for the rest of your life?

Probably not, which likely gives rise to a multitude of problems when couples realise they only like certain parts of their partners (omg that sexy rebonded hair!!!!) and loathe the rest (which they don’t see since they don’t spend 24 hours a day with them). Later on, they start to whine and try to “improve” their partners. “It’s just for his own good, I don’t see why he’s being so selfish and stubborn”.

Maybe these people get married because they want some nookie with a hot chick. Or maybe they’ve always dreamed about a wedding with 100 tables, and they’ll look so preeeetty in their dress and all their friends will be there gushing about how beautiful she is and how handsome the groom is.

People can be so dumb.

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